Reading log: February 2026

Is it just me or was this month long as fuck? Well it was better than January at least.

! = Priority

CR:

The Stone Gods — Jeanette Winterson

TBR:

These Violent Delights — Micah Nemerever
Notes from Underground — Fyodor Dostoevsky (!)
The Brothers Karamazov — Fyodor Dostoevsky
Hamlet — Shakespeare
The Waves — Virginia Woolf
Confessions of a Mask — Yukio Mishima
The Passion — Jeanette Winterson
Piranesi — Susanna Clarke

AR:

Open Throat — Henry Hoke
The Regatta Mystery and other stories — Agatha Christie
The Beautiful and Damned — F. Scott Fitzgerald
Less Than Zero — Bret Easton Ellis
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit — Jeanette Winterson

Would you look at that, I actually read books off my TBR this time! I'm using my Storygraph to list more books that I want to read so I'm not going to be changing the TBR on here too much, just a few notable ones that I really want to read. But for the most part I'm definitely just going to go more with the flow. Especially since the availability of these books aren't great... I don't want to be buying more books since I'm tight on money. So it'll just have to be anything I can get from the libraries.

Anyway, some good books this month. I'm going to write my thoughts out on Open Throat soon. I'm also getting interested in Winterson's works, though the jury's still out on whether I love her. I've heard mixed opinions on a majority of her novels. We'll see when I start The Stone Gods.

Reading thoughts: Open Throat

With how long I've been hungering after this book, I would've been mad if it let me down, especially after Bored Gay Werewolf (which I didn't hate, but definitely regret spending money on). Thankfully, though, I like this book a lot more!

It was unexpectedly a lot more poetic than I thought it would be, the structure is definitely more akin to that of a poem than a really narrative novel. I'm not really a poetry guy—of course there are poems and poets that I love, but I generally am better at reading and enjoying novels. But I loved this. The more poetic style of writing with less capitalization, less punctuation, went really well with the narrative voice of the mountain lion protagonist. I can believe that if a lion knew English, this might be how he thinks to himself and sees the world.

On that note, that's another thing I love, the perspective. I mean the concept of it in itself is already terribly interesting, and I think the author really managed to carry it out. Again, it just feels believable that this is the mind of a mountain lion we're reading. There are many little details that really sell that immersion.

The plot is honestly a bit lackluster but I don't mind it too much; again, this is very much poem-like, so I guess the story matters a bit less in face of the character study going on (which is excellent). I really really cared for the lion, and even though it's immersive as an animal character it's also really relatable in some parts. Toeing the line between 'human' and 'animal' is the whole point after all, and I found myself very sympathetic to his pains of hunger and wondering at humanity.

I spent all night terrified and slinking along the side daring myself to cross and when the light broke over the hill I saw the body of the kill sharer

his fur coated in a mix of dried deer blood and wet cat blood and his own blood

I ran straight across the long death my feet determined and pounding because I wanted to die

I'm not that lucky

The lion's musings about his past relationship with his parents—his kind mother and his ruthless father—really hit me, I liked them a lot. And his connection with the kill-sharer too. I really love this feeling that he loved them deeply, that he feels things such as nostalgia and longing and yearning, but he can't fully express them in our language because, again, he doesn't speak it fluently. It almost feels like there's a heart to this book that you can feel, straining to communicate itself through the words, even if doesn't exactly get explicitly stated through these limitations.

And the ending, augh. It broke my heart so bad. I feel like there are many ways you could interpret it but I loved it, it really felt like coming full circle. Even though it's open-ended, it felt like it wrapped up every little string and theme in the story perfectly well. And it's narrated so perfectly too, I love the writing all throughout but in particularly the ending it is 10/10.

But of course, it's not perfect. With how much this was marketed as a story about a gay mountain lion, I expected queerness to be more present, but it wasn't really. Like it definitely was there—the romance between the lion and the kill-sharer, and perhaps the way he later on gets referred to with feminine terms, playing with gender—but it felt more like one of many aspects instead of a main focus. I didn't mind it so much, but I really think it was just a marketing problem LOL. I think I really would've liked to get to see more thoughts and memories about the kill-sharer.

Another thing is that the blurb and summary talk about the conflicting desires of wanting to be a human vs. wanting to eat one, but I felt that wasn't really in the book either. Maybe I'll reread it again looking for that, but it felt more solidly like the lion just wanted to be human, period. He never really struggles with bloodlust or hunger in a major way throughout the book. I know this is an odd nitpick, but this is a theme that I love, so I was a little put off by its absence.

Other than that, however, those are just small things in a book that was otherwise so so good. 9/10, very easy and quick to read while still being emotional and really exploring the characters and society in it.

And I just love animal characters. In every sense of the word.

I can smell his blood on the pavement and I'm not at all hungry

this is not about need

no this is want

it's a terrible choice but I'm making it

just like a person